Burning desire

I really don't understand why I submit myself to emotional pain on such a regular basis. I saw my last love tonight. It did nothing for me but make me ache for what could have been. I tried to make things possible, but it was a one-sided effort. I told myself that if I came in contact with her, that I would be a statue and give her no response to her presence. When it came down to it, I couldn't bear to be a jackass, even though that's how I was treated before tonight. But I can't force myself to be anything less than a genuine person, and the truth of the matter is, I still care. I'm getting really sick of the saying that nice guys finish last, and then having to live out the truth of that. Chivalry has to live on somewhere. I feel that it lives on in me, but there is no appreciation for it. I must be a really old fashioned person. The problem is that no women are old fashioned and appreciate the type of life that I try to lead. It feels as if it's not worth it to be the way I am, but I also refuse to sell myself short for other people who don't seem to understand how valuable these virtues are. Some day I'll come across the princess who's waiting for her prince to come and I'll be able to treat her the way that she deserves. Right now I'm the toad who needs the charming, believig kiss to make this fairy tale become a reality. Love seems to find those who aren't trying to find it. But I can't stop searching for it and let it find me. If only some of these people could realize what I'm trying to give them without asking questions. I turned 27 on Nov. 29th. I feel like my time is running short to find someone to give a fairytale love to. Nevertheless, I'm willing to take the time to show the person who will listen, accept, and believe in it. Chivalry is not dead. If I turn out to be the only one to prove it, I will spend my whole existence doing just that. I feel that others deserve that truth.