constant search for nothing

I'm searching. For what, I have no clue. All I know is that something is missing. Maybe I'll stumble across it. Maybe I already did and paid it no attention. All I can say for sure is that without it, I'm miserable. I put on a good face. People think that I'm happy all the time. The irony is, I am happy. But, I'm unfulfilled. The one thing that's missing is the one thing that can make everything else truly come together. It's the glue to life, but it can also tear you into a million pieces. Despite the risk of being ripped apart again, I want nothing more than to find it and hold onto it for dear life. But where is it? What is it? Why has it escaped me for so long? I can imagine what it should feel like. The problem is that I can't imagine for my life what it will look like. There's no worse feeling than solitude. With all of the people that I have around me on any given day, the only feeling that seems to remain constant is solitude. They say it's lonely at the top. Can I at least be at the top if I'm going to feel like this all the time? They say misery loves company. The reality is, misery is what it is because it's alone. Otherwise it would have its company to love. They say the nice guys finish last. So, please everyone, finish so that I can see the end of the rainbow, too. Because all that I've gotten from being nice is a little peace of mind, and a whole lot of loneliness.